The Fellsman: Laughter, pain, pills & tears

As I write this, I'm laid on the couch with my legs elevated, bags of ice covering my shins, and I'm in absolute agony. For the last few days I've been shuffling on my ass up and down t'stairs and the Mrs has had to help dress me.

No, I haven't been assaulted, it is in fact all self-inflicted - I have just completed the Fellsman. I've had a bit of time to reflect on this epic journey and would like to share my story with you....

In a nutshell for anybody who is unfamiliar with the Fellsman, it's a 61 mile ultra event, taking in 11,500 ft of elevation over rough and rugged terrain in the stunning Yorkshire Dales, starting at Ingleton and finishing in Threshfield. It is a challenge not to be taken lightly and requires some real dedication with training.

I first heard about the Fellsman during a long Sunday jaunt over Boulsworth around October time with Andrew Graham and Kerrie Bretherton. My ears pricked up when I heard them talking about the challenge. 'Sounds ridiculous' I thought, no way am I stupid enough to do anything like that. A couple of months later and I was sat hungover in a spinning hotel room after watching the Clarets play Newcastle on New Year's Day, and I found myself inputting my bank details on the Fellsman website. Signed up. What the hell had I just done?

Training began the very next day (once I'd sobered up) and I made the decision to stop drinking from that point until after the event - possibly a tougher task than the Fellsman? Everything was going well for me during training, I was getting out regularly, hammering the miles and I felt strong. Compromises were made with the better half In relation to running and family time, this often meant 4:30 and 5am alarm calls to get my long runs in during the bleak winter mornings.

I booked on to a few longer races to assist with training including the Wadsworth Trog, Haworth Hobble and Calderdale Hike. Leading up to the Calderdale Hike everything seemed to hit me at once in terms of injuries and niggles. I have been suffering with groin/abdominal pain for some time but just prior to the Calderdale it became excruciating and I could barely run, to add to this I picked up Achilles and calf injuries. Being the resident village idiot I carried on and decided to run Calderdale. I completed the 39 mile route in considerable agony and I really wasn't sure I would be fit now for the Fellsman which was only a fortnight away...

I literally did nothing for these two weeks other than eat, eat, eat and eat. What a fortnight that was. I wasn't 100% fit but there was no way in the world I was missing out on this one, not after all the time I'd invested leading up to it.

Before I knew it, Friday 24th April had arrived...Fellsman eve! Time for the dreaded kit check at Threshfield. Jim Garside will no doubt tell you how much of a tart I was leading up to this day, I must have texted him every day for a month worrying about the check - sorry dude! The kit check for the Fellsman is very stringent, and having done it now I can see exactly why - your kit is so important on this event and will ultimately determine if you make it round or not. In the end it turned out that I needn't have worried about it as I sailed through it much to my relief, so that was the first hurdle of the weekend over.

(Side note: on that Friday afternoon I had a meeting at church in relation to my little lad Archie's christening, I have to confess that whilst in the big man's house I said a little prayer...I was absolutely bricking it!)

Friday night was a restless one and I was woken at 4:20am by Archie crying, so I bit the bullet and got up. I had to force a big bowl of porridge down me then shot over to Trawden to meet up with Jen, Kerrie, Jim and Peter. The nerves had really kicked in at this point, I was rather quiet on the way over to Ingleton, apart from screaming "Oh shit!" During a near death experience when some dude decided to fall asleep at the wheel and drift over lanes travelling head on towards us! How we escaped that I will never know! Maybe the big man upstairs was listening to my prayers in church after all!

We arrived at Ingleton where we signed in, met with other TAC members Steve Spence, Mick Dobson and Paul Redman, and I quickly dropped the kids off at the pool (sorry!). We were soon directed down to the starting point just as the heavens opened and I mean opened! It was lashing it down. Great start. Waterproofs on, few team photos and last minute safety briefing then a shout of "GO!" This is it, we were off! Peter, Steve and Paul went ahead and I ran with Jim, Kerrie, Mick and Jenny.

A nice and steady start to the run, I felt good as we made our way up Ingleborough, the weather was awful but at that point I didn't seem to mind much, the injuries seemed to be holding up ok and I was comfortable. I enjoyed the descent off Ingleborough then picked up the track towards the Hill Inn checkpoint over towards Whernside.

It was halfway up Whernside where I felt my first bit of discomfort, my groin began to feel tight, I tried my best wherever I could to stretch it and try to keep loose. It was a tough slog up to the summit of Whernside, a strong cross wind and cold rain battering down on us, it was a relief to start making our way down. I was eating at regular intervals and taking on plenty of fluid trying to keep my energy stores topped up, something I had struggled with on previous ultras.

We were nice and steady away over towards Kingsdale, although I somehow managed to find myself waist deep in a bog...twice...much to the amusement of the fella running behind me. I wasn't best pleased and took my frustration out on a tussock calling it a 'd*ck head' odd behaviour, yes, but it made me feel better anyway.

Onwards towards Gragareth , Great Coum and Flinters Gill, all the while being drowned by the persistent rain and hail. I started to get cold at this point and the first doubts started to creep in. I couldn't envisage ever finishing in these conditions, I just wanted to throw in the towel and be at home in bed! There was a point where a train went by and I recall thinking how nice it would be to be sleeping on there. I got a morale boost from Jenny when she told me there were warm cheese rolls at the Dent checkpoint, so I got my nut down and continued on.

It wasn't long before we were at Dent and I threw plenty of food down, I was treating it like an all you can eat buffet. After eating, I decided to jump in to the shelter of a mini bus and take off my sodden T-shirt and base layer, changing into fresh warm clothing, this made a whole world of difference and kicked me back in to life. I timed this perfectly as not long after this the rain subsided and the temperature picked up making running conditions much more bearable. I still wasn't running at my usual standard however, and was constantly playing catch up with the rest of the group who were all running really strong. I felt kind of bad as I couldn't help but think I was holding everyone up, but they were all fantastic with me throwing words of encouragement and support.

A long slog ensued up to Blea Moor, I didn't feel fit and was flagging big time here, I hung on as we dropped down towards the Stonehouse checkpoint and was pleasantly surprised to see a welcome face in Mark Wilcock taking photographs and giving us a real boost - thanks for the support! Refuelling on pasta, sandwiches and Nurofen and then we were off again. I began munching on a combination of jelly beans, chocolate raisins and Shot Bloks which worked absolute wonders for me and I got what can only be described as a new lease of life. I was now running well, felt strong and was feeling confident, Mick Dobson made me laugh with his comment "It's only taken you 30 miles to warm up!"

We continued over to Great Knoutberry and then as we dropped down to the roadside checkpoint at Redshaw, we were greeted here by Tony 'T' Hall who had made the effort to travel over, going well out of his way to lend his support. I can't tell you how much of a boost it gave everyone to see T, it gave us all a huge lift. Time for some soup, and a quick brew, then a very wet and boggy trek over Snaizeholme and Dodd Fell, on the way stopping to assist another runner suffering from the effects of cramp.

It was around this stage that Jim began to feel a bit off, he had been struggling to take on fluids and food all day and it began to take its toll on him. Jim is a strong-willed guy and like a true warrior he carried on keeping up enthusiasm and expertly navigating us to Fleet Moss, where it was rice pudding heaven! I would have been happy staying there for the night with the rice pud supplies - I love it!

As a safety precaution grouping rules come into force as the night draws in, we were told we would have to group together with others at Fleet Moss. We had the luck of the draw here as there were two hardy souls stood at the checkpoint who were none other than fellow club mates Steve Spence (complete with a string vest which he'd borrowed from Rab C Nesbitt) and Paul Redman. We were now a super seven! Spirits were high and we were all going well over Middle Tongue and Hell Gap, and treated to the most amazing sunset over the silhouette of Ingleborough, it was one of those moments where you had to stop for a minute to take it all in, a special sight.

Darkness was soon upon us, on went the head torches and down went the temperature. It was a clear night, the earlier rain and wind had totally vanished and it was a calm, tranquil setting for the run back in. Jim was still having issues with sickness and it became evident that he may not make it through to the end. As we dropped in to the checkpoint at Cray there was one last attempt to get Jim fuelled up, sadly it wasn't to be. He really wanted to continue but it wasn't worth the risk; he made a tough decision but the right one.

It takes a lot of guts to do what he did, and I have to say it is amazing that he ran so strong for 45 miles without food. Speaking to him since I know he is disappointed but he shouldn't be at all, what a top bloke who I feel was responsible for me getting through the Fellsman - he's given me so much advice and help throughout, I'm very grateful for it.

It was a huge blow for us losing Jim but we knew we were within touching distance of the finish, just two more climbs then it was all 'downhill'. First we encountered Buckden Pike, what a son of a b*tch this turned out to be! A very steep climb, it seemed never ending, add to that the temperature falling well below freezing making it difficult to catch your breath and you get the picture.

As I got to the summit of Buckden I began to feel tired and nauseous, the long hours on my feet was taking its toll on me, my legs were shot to pieces and my shins began throbbing. It became hard to function, I was ready for bed, I could hardly move my legs and now my left knee had seized up. Each step was agony, I had serious doubts about my chances of finishing. Jenny and Kerrie were absolutely fantastic here they were so strong and were pushing on keeping everyone going. Steve, Paul and Mick appeared to take it in turns to drop back to help me get going again. I kept telling myself I needed to be eating and drinking but I physically couldn't stomach it, the pain in my legs was intense and making me feel sick...from the Cray checkpoint I didn't eat again.

We battled on through Top Mere and Park Rash to meet the final climb up Great Whernside. This is usually a personal favourite of mine, having walked or run the route a number of times, but this time it wasn't! It was torture for me, 52 miles in and trying to navigate my way over the rocky summit with what felt like two broken legs. We found a nice line from the trig taking us down to a very steep descent. This should have been great fun, but I couldn't physically get going, I had to shuffle down taking small steps as the weight forcing down on my legs was unbearable, so much so I thought my Fellsman was over, I was almost in tears with the pain. I eventually made it to the bottom which was a huge relief. From here I tried my best to muster up a bit of a jog but it didn't last long and would soon turn to a hobble. I was getting grouchy as I was tired and lacking energy due to not being able to eat. Paul was telling me he felt drunk, he was fighting to keep his eyes open whilst running. Mick and Steve were both suffering with knee pain, we were really pushing our bodies to the limits.

After what seemed an age we arrived at Capplestone Gate to clip in, I started to believe here I was going to make it, only one more checkpoint to go and the remaining mileage was now single figures. I could see flashing beacons in the distance which were guiding us towards Yarnbury; this was a welcome site, I knew the end was near and limped my way to the checkpoint tent. "Well done chap, you're a Fellsman!" said the marshal as he clipped the final tally "You've just got two miles on the road and you're done."

I set off running with my team mates along the road, after about half a mile I had to grind to a halt as the impact of heavy legs on Tarmac was awful, like knives being driven through each shin, the end was so close but it seemed to take an eternity to get there. As we dropped in to Grassington we were greeted by Jim who had come out to cheer us in, it was brilliant to see a friendly face. Jim asked how I was, I seem to remember saying "I'm f***ed mate, I'm done in." Jim gave me a pat on the back and more encouragement, he then drove on ahead to meet us at the finish at Threshfield school. As he went past me in his car I remember thinking "You lousy rotten git! Could have offered me a lift!"

I eventually stumbled round the corner and joined up with Kerrie, Steve, Paul, Mick and Jenny and we ran in the last few hundred metres together over the finish line. The best finish line ever. It was 5:15am, I was knackered and there was just an almighty release of emotion, 20 hours 44 minutes of graft had come to an end. Hugs and handshakes all around and I had to fight unbelievably hard to hold back tears, I never thought I would be a soppy sod after a run but this wasn't any old run, it was a real journey full of highs, lows, excruciating pain and constant battles with my head. I don't know how I made it back to Threshfield but I did, and I had an immense feeling of pride. After months of training, living and breathing the Fellsman I had finally done it! I'm so proud of all my team mates who completed it with me, they were awesome.

After handing in my checkpoint tally, I made my way in to the school to change in to fresh clothes and grab a well-earned cooked brekkie. I'd been left instructions from my Mrs that as soon as I got back in no matter what time I had to call her to let her know I was safe. As I stood in a toilet cubicle getting changed I began a random juggling act with my phone which resulted in me having to dip my hand in the crapper to fish it out. Phone broke, can't call the Mrs, I'm in the dog house! Not an ideal situation when you feel like you've been hammered for 12 rounds by Mike Tyson in his prime.

This is a truly epic event, it has absolutely everything thrown in and it takes real determination to get through it. One thing I will mention is how incredibly well organised the whole event is: the race organisers, volunteers, marshals and staff behind the scenes are fantastic, they are so enthusiastic and make this event very special.

My team mates were all fantastic, I couldn't ask for a better group of people to be with, special mention goes to Jen and Kerrie who overcame their demons from last year's Fellsman and absolutely smashed it running so strong. I'd also like to congratulate Peter Stobbs on an amazing run, he completed it in just over 15 hours which is incredible considering he was only going out for a walk!

Sadly now I'm paying the price...a trip to A&E on Monday morning was required for X-rays on both legs due to extensive bruising and swelling. Thankfully no fractures were found but I'm on some crazy pills to numb the pain and picked up some shiny crutches for my troubles. I've got the old John Wayne swagger...in fact it's worse than that...I'm more like one of those dogs that squeaks their ass across the floor, I hope to be walking by the weekend in time for the christening!

Maybe see you at Ingleton in 2016...just don't tell the Mrs…